


What's Done in the Dark

by EuphoniousGlow



Category: Damages
Genre: Ficlet, M/M, One-Shot, Slash, one-sided
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-07
Updated: 2011-03-07
Packaged: 2017-10-16 04:12:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/168286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EuphoniousGlow/pseuds/EuphoniousGlow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ray Fiske is a man of weakness. Spoilers from season 1, episode 6 to episode 10.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What's Done in the Dark

**Author's Note:**

> Where is Damages fandom? I'm surprised that, despite the small amount of Damages fic, there isn't anything about Ray or Gregory. Their scenes in season 1 are some of my favorite moments on TV.

Every morning you try not to count your teeth. It's not an easy urge to be rid of. You open your mouth wide to floss the back molar and remember the feel of choking on it. But it was too big to swallow: you had to spit it out in a spatter of blood.

You like to think that successes are built on your own choices. But then your wedding ring glints in the light, and the gold band burns your eyes as if you had stared right into the sun. You've known since you were eight, but there is no such thing as choice in a small-town Southern Baptist family. Wit has always covered insecurities. The boys in school used to beat you up for being short, but you soon found that levity could defend you better than your fists. Boys got killed for kissing other boys: so much easier to marry.

Gregory was just a waiter. He hadn't even gone to college. There was a sort of choirboy look to him, a simple admiration that struck you to the quick. Weakness has always been your enemy. It took a long time to admit you wanted Gregory; it took even longer to hope for more than just being his mentor. Your loss of control shamed you even more than his rejection. In your dream the night after it happened, he stripped the skin from your body and you put yourself together again, piece by piece of agonized flesh. 

Mallory has a near-constant worried look in her eyes these days. She asks if you've been eating enough, if it's allergies, if there's trouble at work. She doesn't ask if you still love her. But that is something you haven't doubted: your love for her is almost childish in its purity, but sometimes you wonder if she wishes you touched her more. It's the times when you pull her close, as if you really are the gentleman she thinks she married, that you most hate yourself. 

Gregory dies because he believes in your basic human decency. After it's over and Moore drops you off, you walk into the empty house and just laugh. Pretty soon the wretched noises no longer sound human.

The next morning, a Johnny Cash tape plays in the car, and his voice is like a premonition:  _What's done in the dark will be brought to the light._


End file.
